Funny Joke - A Sloth Named Herman

A sloth named Herman is walking through the forest one day. A gang of snails approach him and beat him up. He is left at the bottom of a tree with several cuts and bruises.

Several hours later he gathers up enough strength to go to a local police station. Herman walks into the Sergeant's office.

"What happened to you? the officer asks.

"A gang of snails beat me up," Herman replied.

"Can you describe what they looked like?"

"I don't know," the sloth says. "It all happened so fast."

Joke - Trouble At The Bar

A guy goes into a bar and says, "Quick, a pint of beer before the trouble starts."

The barman looks around the sleepy bar, shrugs and pours a pint for the guy.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick! another pint of beer before the trouble starts."

The barman looks at the guy oddly but pours another pint and gives it to him.

The guy drinks it fast. "Quick another pint of beer before the trouble starts."

Barman pours a third pint with a frown on his face but hands it over reluctantly.

Again, the guy drinks it fast. "Quick another pint of beer before the trouble starts."

The barman replies, "Look what trouble is this then?"

"The trouble is I haven't got any money."

The Elderly Couple - Funny Joke

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them

until they were back on the highway. 

By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her,

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."