Paddy And His Coffee Maker : Funny Joke

Paddy was thinking of buying a coffee maker but was concerned it might be too complicated to operate. The salesman assured him it was easy to use.

"You simply put in the coffee and filter, fill the reservoir with water, slide the switch to auto and go to bed. When you wake up you can enjoy a steaming hot cup of coffee"

A few weeks later Paddy ran into his friend O'Riley.

"Paddy me boy, how are you enjoying your new coffee maker?"

"I had to take the stupid thing back" said Paddy, "every time I fancied a cup of coffee I had to go to bed"

Funny Joke - At The Pearly Gates

One day Jesus was walking by the pearly gates when St. Peter asked him to watch the gates for a few minutes. Jesus agreed and in a few minutes he saw an old, old man approach. He walked very slowly, had long white hair and beard.

"How did you spend your life on earth my son?" asked Jesus.

"I was a simple carpenter for sixty years" replied the old man.

"And what do you hope to find here in heaven" asked Jesus.

"I hope to find my son" said the man

"Well there are millions upon millions of people here, how will you find him?"

"I'll recognize him by the nail holes in his hands and feet," states the old man.

Jesus does a double take, thinks for a moment and says,

"Father???"

The old man looks at Jesus and says, "Pinocchio?"

Married life is Like Taking A Walk In The Park - Funny Joke

Married life is like taking a walk in the park.

But the only problem is that the park is

JURASSIC PARK!!