The Loch Ness Monster - Funny Joke

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness Monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out,

"Oh, my God! Please help me!"

At once, the ferocious attack scene froze in place, and as the atheist hung in mid-air, a booming voice came down from the clouds,

"I thought you didn't believe in me!"

"Come on God, give me a break!!," the man pleaded. "Two minutes ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness Monster either!"

The Male And Female Way Of Doing Things - Hilarious Jokes

Please note that with the arrival of new "Drive- through" cash point machines, customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Male Procedure

1) Drive up to the cash machine
2) Wind down your car window
3) Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4) Enter amount of cash required
5) Retrieve card, cash and receipt
6) Wind up window

Female Procedure

1) Drive up to cash machine
2) Reverse back the required amount to align car window to
machine
3) Re-start the stalled engine
4) Wind down the window
5) Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
6) Locate make-up bag and check make-up in rear view mirror
7) Attempt to insert card into machine
8) Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from car
9) Insert card
10) Re- insert card right way up
11) Re- enter the handbag to find diary with your PIN written on
the inside back page
12) Enter PIN
13) Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
14) Enter amount of cash required
15) Re-check make-up in rear view mirror
16) Retrieve cash and receipt
17) Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside
18) Place receipt in back of check book
19) Re-check make-up again
20) Drive forward 2 feet
21) Reverse back to cash machine
22) Retrieve card
23) Re-empty handbag, locate card holder and place card into the
slot provided
24) Re-check make-up
25) Restart stalled engine and pull away
26) Drive for 3 to 4 miles
27) Release parking brake